Babe in shades

hey, recognise me? My cool great-grandma is watching me fondly from behind! waa haa haa

and i'm having fun with my aunt priscilla too......

Birthday Celebrations with our best friends...

Thank you AUbrey and Mary for such a sumptuous meal at a fine Jap restaurant -TATSU Sushi .



Create Your Own

It's my birthday and I'm crossing a new milestone.....

Yes, I am entering into another milestone... 30!

I am thankful that I am still loving and serving the lord today. As I reflect on my christian walk, there would have been many things that the evil one could have robbed me of my joy and freedom in walking with the lord. Thank God for his grace that I am still walking strong with the lord even tho there are still many struggles that I am facing = )

THe night before my birthday, I was led to read a beautiful Psalms - Psalms 139

"O Lord, you searched me and you know me
You know me when I sit and when I rise
you perceive my thoughts from afar
you discern my going out and my lying down
you are familiar with all my ways.
For you created me in my inmost being
you knit me together in my mother's womb
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made
your works are wonderful
I know that full well
My frame was not hidden from you
when iI was made in the secret plac.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw unformed body...

Search me , O God and know my heart;
test me and know my anxiuos thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting
. "Excerpts from Psalms 139

I must admit that this week has been really tough, seems like an emotional roller coaster ride as I face quite intense challenges in my family- both physical and spiritual family. It's funny how come tough issues seem to occur all at the same time. Yes, life is tough but knowing that I am walking with the Lord's delight makes it more endurable.

The verse above brought so much comfort coz the Lord is reminding me that He KNOWS me INSIDE OUT and understands every THOUGHTS and FEARS in whatever I am going through।
I AM HIS MASTERPIECE, I thank God for myself! =)

Looking back on my 14 years as a christian, one of the toughest but most precious lessons that I 've learnt and am still learning is to SURRENDER to and TOTALLY TRUST the Lord. In my journey of surrendering , I must say that today, I am increasling humbled as I realised how awesome the lord is , and how much I need Him. I am living a more blessed and purposeful life than before as the Lord reveals the mysteries of his truth and ways.

Lord, it is my desire that you search me and surface things in me that you want to "polish away" . Lead me in your way so that I will journey with you all the way till the end .

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Love is patient

wow, another year has passed since my first blog entry with my reflections on valentine's day ।

This time , my tots for valentine's day came when I was sitting on my great white throne ...ahhh.....

LOVE is PATIENT ...

My dear hubby was apologising to me that this year he was thinking hard of what to get me for Vday but dunno what to get. But deep in my heart , I felt he has given me the best gift of love that beats those beautiful bouquets of roses ( yes, I still love receiving flowers ), his ENDURING PATIENCE to me.

In my times of stress and immense frustrations ( esp on days when Gracia demands more attention than my fatigued soul can give), I've said things which i knew were uncalled for ( sometimes regretted). But my chubby hubby instead of judging or reprimanding me, chose to find how he can help to alleviate my frustrations first before attempting to "counsel" me..=) He really showed me love thru his patience and grace to me =)

Thank you Lord for a wonderful hubby that I can enjoy "valentine's day " every day .=) Lord, help me to demonstrate my love to my loved ones around me by giving them the gift of patience and grace.

=================================================================

my spiritual family

Lord, thank you for a wonderful spiritual family....



Behind all the smiles is the journey of COMMITMENT that we have chosen to walk thru with each other through the different seasons of our lives in past years .



my G12 family during our cny dinner:

Gracia BOX fun

Gracia's new toy!!!

A mother's words , actions, choices affects her children's nature

I am in the midst of reading an empowering book ," women in ministry" by Ps Claudia Ceasar and this sentence sprang out to me...

" a mother has the ability to affect her children's destiny thru her words, actions and choices "

Isn't that powerful! Actually, more than a position of a mother, I was thinking of our position as WOMEN and more spectifically all my spiritual daughters. Yes, every one of their CHOICES NOW will affect their children to come . Their choices on who they marry, how they want to live their lives,what they want to invest their time in, etc..

"Lord, help me that I may be able to help my all my daughters ( spiritual and physical) realise the power of their choices on their future children's lives and that you would grant me the grace to empower my daughters to catch a heart of a mother that we as women will rise up to the high calling you have given us as mothers to influence the next generation. "

A home is ...

"What is home? A roof to keep out the rain. Four walls to keep out the wind. Floors to keep out the cold. Yes, but home is more than that.
It is the laugh of a baby, the song of a mother, the strength of a father. Warmth of living hearts, light from happy eyes, kindness, loyalty, comradeship. Home is first school and first church for young ones, where they learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind. Where they go for comfort when they are hurt or sick. Where joy is shared and sorrow eased. Where fathers and mothers are respected and loved. Where children are wanted. Where the simplest food is good enough for kings because it is earned. Where money is not as important as lovingkindness. Where even the tea kettle sings from happiness. That is home. God bless it. ~Madame Ernestine Schumann-Heink"

Gracia and Barney

Just this afternoon I was digging up some old photos and to my surprise, I found a BARNEY book!!! And it's teaching about COLOURS ! Splendid... just what I was looking for ( was teaching baby about colours this morning) !

And I passed the book to baby Gracia...... can you imagine how proud I was.. seeing Gracia READ Barney ( instead of watching TV..) .. Ha ha so intelligent...must have taken after daddy..

hmmm....however after a minute or so later..

:P

Free from Fear .....freedom as a daughter

My meditations on Galatians .........

"You are all SONS OF GOD through faith in Christ Jesus for all of you who were baptised into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ......if you belong with Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise." Gal 3 :26-29

Lately the lord has been reminding me of who I am to Him, HIS DAUGHTER. When I was reading Galatians, this verse sprang out to me affirming me once again that I AM HIS DAUGHTER. Not only that, this time, it also states my INHERITANCE through the promise to Abraham.

I went back to read Genesis ...

" I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you. " Gen 12:2-3

Wow, what a blessing! Lindee will be a great nation and Lindee's name will be great and all peoples on earth will be blessed through Lindee. It sounds overwhelming but yes, it's true and God will fulfill his promise just as He did for Abraham and Sarah ...... SUPERNATURALLY! ( Gal 4:23)

As I reflect on the challenges that I faced recently in coping as a mother to all my daughters, the lord's word above spoke new confidence in me.

How easy it is to be gripped with fear when we face challenging and difficult situations of our lives when we dunno know how things are going to turn out and whether we have what it takes to make it thru.. How often we are driven by fear to face the responsibilities and tasks before us.

But the Lord is affirming me once again for the 3rd time of His father's heart to bless me as His daughter in a SUPERNATURAL way.( ya, this is His third time affirming me- once thru my meditation on 2 Cor2 :14 , 2nd time by Ps Melvin' in his sermon week before last week and then once again in this devotion in Galatians) .

Thank you Lord for the relevation of your father's love for me, that I may face every challenge in my life with full confidence that you are with me and I will see you work supernaturally in my life to be a blessing . Regardless of how difficult things may be , I will not let fear rob me of my joy and freedom in living as your daughter.

"It was for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm , then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery " Gal 5:1

Lord i wanna be just like you...

excerpts from a song by philip,craig and dean that sings my heart's desire....

" Lord I wanna be just like you

cause she wanna be just like me

I wanna be a holy example

for her innocent eyes to see

help me be a living bible, Lord

that my little girl can read

I wanna be like you

cause she wanna be like me "

Lately, been faced with many challenges as I mother my spiritual children too... there's so much I wanna do for each of them but so little time but the lord reminded me to look beyond my limitations and continue to give from my heart ...=)

the rest of the song so aptly describes how I feel ....

"Got to admit I've got so far to go

Make so many mistakes and I'm sure that You know

Sometimes it seems no matter how hard I try

With all the pressures in life I just can't get it all right

But I'm trying so hard to learn from the best

Being patient and kind, filled with Your tenderness'

Cause I know that she'll learn from the things that she sees

And the Jesus she finds will be the Jesus in me

Right now from where she stands I may seem mighty tall

But it's only 'cause I'm learning from the best Father of them all"

when it doesn't seem like victory .....

" Declare the areas in your life that you want to claim victory for this year " I led my spiritual children in this faith exercise during our cell time just abt 2 weeks back.....

For me that night, I declared that I will be a victorious mother - both physically and spiritually , and left cell feeling high about being victorious. But it was from then on , the challenges that threatened my victorious spirit surfaced..............

"Gracia's crying again to be fed for the 3rd time and it's 4am!!!!!!!!" By then, I was totally exhuasted and my frustrations got the better of me and I told daddy johnson that THAT"S IT... I'm going to IGNORE her cries. Instead of reprimanding me, daddy just gentle pat me to sleep and lovingly told me that he'll take over.

I lost my cool , I felt defeated... is this what a victorious mother should be ? I felt mocked at , like an inner voice telling me ' haha what kind of victorious mother are you???'

I took some time to just meditate in the lord's presense and remembered a message from Ps Khong recent sermon To be ALWAYS thankful. thatI realised God was doing a deeper work which my physical eyes cannot yet see but only a thankful spirit is able to see the beauty of God's blessings unfolding in the midst of the challenges... I saw the depth of love demonstrated by daddy johnson thru his patience in coping with a frustrated mum and crying baby. How blessed I am to have such a loving husband. And I realised the lord was teaching me about "PATIENCE".














I learnt that....A Victorious spirit comes from resting in the confidence as the Lord's daughter allowing Hin to lead me to victory as He do a deeper work in me , it's not a high emotion neither is it demanding victory on our conditions. Thank you Lord for your grace in revealing to me this nugget of truth.

baby retro

Yeah, I'm not only dressed up for my retro party, i'm also dressed to blend with my daddy& mummy's bedsheet =)

Gracia's open cell

It all starts with 3 first...... I think Gracia was about to raise a prayer request...

I am a VICTORIOUS daughter of the Lord

"But thanks be to God , who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him " 2 Corinthians:14

One of my spiritual daughters was sharing with me recently that she feared that she may lose her job due to some changes in the HR policy and was asking God why did He put her there if it means that the position may not be a permanent one afterall.

I pondered for some time , waiting upon the lord as to how to reply her (ya didn;t wanna reply with some airy fairy reply). I felt the lord brought me to the verse that we are claiming as a church for this year of victory, 2 Cor :14.

As I meditated upon the verse, felt a resonance in my heart that YES, GOD wants to bless us ( HIS CHILDREN) and lead us to victory always so that through us, pple around us will see and testify of the reality and goodness of our lord!

Another thing that spoke to me was, I am the daughter of God, surely He will bless me .

I drew an analogy with Gracia. I looked at her and really want to give her the best I can give her - endured the earlier breastfeeding blues( and pains) to give her the best nourishment ( BREAST MILK) for her 1st 6 mths ,constantly evaluating my parenting style to ensure that she will be an emotionally secure baby, constantly thinking of what toys will interest her and develop her well intellectually etc . If I ,an imperfect person can desire and do so much to bless my daughter, how much more my heavenly father!!! =)

So as I reminded my spiritual daughter of this verse again, I was sharing with confidence that whatever the circumstances, however uncertain, we can have confidence that we will have a victorious life ahead because of our heavenly father who will always lead us into victory and through our lives, many will come to know Him!

Looking ahead in year 2007

It will be a year of VICTORY ......and I want to stay FOCUSED to
Go Deep in the Lord

( so as to be filled with the Lord's love and wisdom to continue giving and be a blessing )

Look far in the vision

( so that I can purposefully busy as I align myself in the Lord's heart and direction for me)

Ask Big in the vision

( so that I can experience the Lord's supernatural in my life as I see His hands go before me)

Mothercare

Just today, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotions when I was not able to go for a gathering at Belle's place for a family potluck time.

It dawned upon me that I was lonely and longed for fellowship with my girlfriends and sisters . For an extended time, I was so caught up with meeting Gracia's needs-esp having to wake up almost every other hour in the night to feed her ( she's probably teething also , thus the discomfort interrupts her sleep, and mine).

I guess I've neglected my own needs. These feelings are also probably intensified as the struggles of not returning back to work re-surfaced again ( have taken another six months no pay leave). Please dun misunderstand, I thoroughly enjoy taking care of baby Gracia ( she's so cute) but the other side of me also yearns to be in a community of adults again , to have the freedom to go out have lunch to eat at my fav stalls at Ah Moy, to enjoy the silly jokes with my collegues......

Picked up a book "The Mother Load- how to meet your own needs while caring for your family" that I borrowed from the library but left on my shelf for a looooooog time. I realised I have to finish it by today coz today is the DEADLINE!

It was a wonderful time of rest... coz it seems that I hadn't had time for myself for the longest time... just the extended time for myself (reading ) brought so much refreshment.

Also, while I am sharing on this blog, one of my dear sisters Stella offered to drop by my place (before heading for Belle's place) to visit me and also help me. SO, I can go to Belle house afterall !!!! Thank you Lord, you know my innermost thoughts and struggles and you send help so timely.

I thank God for reminding me that I need also to take care of myself , to wait upon the lord and receive so that I can continue giving. I thank God for the the space he created for me this afternoon with my baby sound asleep. I thank God for the "angel" He sent in the form of my dear sister , Stella to help me so that I can go to Belle's house tonight afterall =)

It's a wonderful reminder today that I need to take care of myself emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually so that I can take good care of my daughter in all tis same aspects . Gracia needs a happy mother to raise a happer Her =)

Thank you Lord for reminding me the need for SABBATH.. to find rest and find myself in the midst of all the "CHOAS"

Christmas isn't Christmas till..

Christmas isn't Christmas

till it happens in your heart

somewhere deep inside you

is where Christmas really starts

so give your heart to Jesus

You'll discover when you do

that's when Christmas really Christmas

For you....

spiritual mothering

Something that I read from the net on spiritual mothering:


Written by Beth Moore
God created every life to be fruitful and multiply, but this God-given dream represents more than physical offspring. I believe our dreams to have babies represent a desire to have fruitful lives, to invest ourselves in something that matters and makes a difference.

In the Old Testament, God promised great numbers of physical descendants. In the New Testament, His emphasis is clearly on spiritual offspring. God calls us to be fruitful and to multiply until He calls us home. Potential for spiritual offspring is virtually limitless. God desires to empower you to bear spiritual offspring. God created you to bear much fruit. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mommy more than anything in the world. Now my children are almost grown. Recently my older daughter and I were enjoying a time of rich fellowship together when she paused and asked, “Mom, when Melissa and I grow up and perhaps even move far away from you and Daddy, will you be OK?”
A lump welled in my throat, but I still answered confidently: “Yes, darling. Most people just need to feel useful. As long as I have Jesus, I will always feel useful — even if I occasionally feel lonely.”
I have tried my hardest to keep my children from growing up, but all my efforts have failed. Sometimes I think: “What will I ever do? I was born to be a mommy!” Then I remember God has called me primarily to women’s ministry, and I will always have the opportunity to “mother” a few spiritual offspring as long as I am willing to invest myself.
In fact, one of my spiritual daughters has a particularly dry and delightful wit. She is a gifted Bible teacher at only 27 years of age and hardly ever misses an opportunity to affectionately rib me about my age. I introduced her once as a spiritual daughter, and later she said, “Since you led the person to the Lord, who in turn, led me to the Lord, wouldn’t that really make you my spiritual grand-mother?” After that I called her a smart aleck, we had a great laugh, and every card or gift that I have sent to her since that remark have all been signed, “Love, Granny.”

If God chose for you to have physical children, prepare yourself! They will grow up! Then it is time to enlarge your tent and invest in spiritual children! If God chooses for you never to have physical children, He is calling you to a bigger family! God purposely placed the dream of fruitful lives in our hearts. Oh, how I love the paradoxical ways our glorious heavenly Father works. Only He can bring gain from loss. Only He can make us more fruitful in our barrenness!


One final thought. Undoubtedly one of the reasons I wanted children was to bear offspring who were the image of my husband. I wanted little Keiths and Keithettes! I did not want them to look like me. I have always thought Keith was far more beautiful than I. You see, the same is true of our spiritual offspring. Once we fall in love with Christ, we are so taken with His beauty, we want children to look just like Him. That is spiritual parenting in a nutshell; raising spiritual sons and daughters to look just like their Father in Heaven. What could be more important? "