Finally... am going to work only part time

Yesh...it's really been crasy juggling with work and family esp with the little girl Gracia getting so interactive !!!



So am really glad that FINALLY, I have begun my part time plans this May.. to really orientate my life and do what I love doing most... to spend time nurturing little Gracia and the little one coming along in Sept...........



Yup, that also means that I can finally start sharing on my blog again. While I was working full time, it was near impossible to be sitting by my PC after work without little Gracia popping by to invite me to join in with her games. And then when she's finally asleep.... I 'm almost exhausted my energy tank for the day!

Well but going part time has not been easy for me too... frankly , eversince I was pregnant ( oh yes.... I didn't share..I 'm expecting baby no 2 in Sept 2008!!!!!!!!), I was nevery the same again at work.. not as competent and fast... it's really hard to explain.. I really try but just not as focused as before.

It was a very humbling period for me at work, was losing my confidence at work but guess what... The Lord led me to understand another deeper truth about his heart for me :

This is the key verse for me this season as I struggle with my competency at work -

" His pleasure is not in the strength of horses nor his delight in the legs of man, the Lord delights is in those who fear him , who put their hope in his unfailing love." Ps 147:10.

The Lord reminded me thru this humbling period of time that my significance at work is not measured by how competent I am... a reminder that his love for me is not pegged to my competence but how I face the challenges at work with an attitude that honours him which will be reflected with how I relate to my bosses and collegues at work.

The real challenge for myself is to find HOPE in the Lord's unfailing love for me and not in my competency and ability to perform.

Thank you Jesus for reminding me of your love for me.

Fond Memories of my 1st Youthnet Marriage encounter

During the last YouthNet Marriage encounter in Oct 2007, Johnson and I had learnt a lot through Ps Eugene and Ps Julie's simple yet powerful lives as a couple journeying thru marriage life for the past 25 years. The content for every session was enriching , packed with much practical handles and insights to work through the challenges that we face in a marriage.

One of my greatest take away is a sense of huge relief that "Sex" can be an open discussion topic . The "sexology" session conducted by "Dr" Caleb , in his down to earth yet humourous style really gave me a refreshing appreciation of sex as God's earth-shaking blessing for married couples.

Pastor Eugene also encouraged us to be open and dare to express our love openingly , something not inherent in our culture. I was so touched when Johnson openly read out to everyone his love poem that he specially penned for me.

Eversince we became parents, it was really easy to be caught up in the whirlwind of responsibilities in taking care of Gracia. Even though Johnson and I do take pockets of time just for ourselves as a couple, it's nothing like an extended weekend like this. A weekend that I rediscovered and "re-enjoyed" my hubby , rekindling the spontenity , fun and romance in our marriage once again.

It was also a bonus for me to see my spiritual parents, Ps Yeang Cherng and Ps Yueh Ping so lovey-dovey together.

With so much fond memories and the beautiful work that was sparked off in the 1st YouthNet marriage encounter, I'm surely looking forward to the next MEW coming up! =)

Finally.....

Hi Hi.. yes.. it's been the LONGEST time since I've last blogged.

Some of you have already been teasing me about my absense from my blog.. yes ..perhaps it's really time to clean up the virtual cobwebs on my blog ( nona, i caught your BIG HINT)

Since I started work, have been maximising every little time I have to spend quality time with hubby and Gracia after work. I really marvel at mums who has the energy to juggle work and family at the same time.. it truly is quite a challenge =P

So, I was really so thankful to my dear hubby for planning a little family retreat to Bintan just last week......

Some quick updates.. from Gracia

" I'm so excited, it's my first trip to Bintan and yes, extended time with my daddy and mummy!"

Even before I reached Bintan, I met some cute guys... oh wat a treat! =P

Hey watch me watch, walking is so much fun!

I've got the whole resort to explore! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

"ok, i've walked the resort , I'm ready for more action at the pool........ ! See my new ball and surf float!"

"Hmmm, before I go, let me dial a special spa treat for my daddy n mummy ...."








" phew, what a long day...... just me chilling out with a nice cool drink "

i can't believe it's over!!!! It's toooo short!!!!!!!! Smile at the camera, no way! Mummy, we 'll be back again yah? "

The Heng Family at Bintan Lagoon

Gracia and her Gong Gong and Ma ma

I am finally back to work after almost a year and that explains my absense all this while from my blog. I am so glad I had so much exclusive time with baby Gracia and given a choice again I would still choose to take my 1-year no pay leave =)

Well, then again, another part of me also look forward to returning back to work ..... many many adjustments... too much to share in this entry..

Just wanted to say that I am so blessed to have the support of my parents and my mother in law. They have so willingly offered to step in to take care of baby Gracia when it was time for me to return back to work ......


I'm so glad that Gracia has so many more people doting and caring for her. And it warms my heart to see her close to her grandparents =)

Thank God for family ...... =)

Gracia Warrior

I'm just recovering from the nasty Hand foot mouth (HFM) thingy and I'm not gonna sit around and whine. I will FIGHT the virus!


I'm part of the TASK force to EXTERMINATE the hand foot mouth virus at home , ok I'm ready!


You think I play play only ? See me in action!



And now, DOUBLE ACTION!



And we will have VICTORY over the HFM virus!

Happy Birthday Gracia

Baby Gracia has turned 1 on 12 Jun ! =)

She's really grown into a beautiful and expressive gal who has brought so much joy to our family.

If you are lucky you can catch her dancing ( bouncing , bouncing ).

When she's happy, she'll give you the widest grin ...

when she's frustrated, she'll let you know too ...

Sometimes she may turn private and shy away from you ...

but most of the times, she loves to have fun with you .....

Wow...how time flies , I can't believe that Gracia has grown so much , can you still remember she used to look like this ? =)

An inspiration , the power of a father's love

When I hear and watch the story of Dick Hoyt and his son, I teared at the awesomeness and his conquering love for his son. His determination and greatness humbles me greatly esp as a mother , how easily I can get frustrated and discouraged by the challenges and inconveniences of motherhood. He spurs me to face the battles of motherhood with a renewed determination and faith to overcome =)


The Story .......

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.

Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.''

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''

"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore For two weeks.''

That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.

``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''

And the video is below....

can you spot baby Gracia?

Did somebody witness today ?

An interesting read ....

This is a story about four people named EVERYBODY, SOMEBODY, ANYBODY and NOBODY. There was an important job to be done and EVERYBODY was sure that SOMEBODY would do it. ANYBODY could have done it, but NOBODY did it. SOMEBODY got angry about that, because it was EVERYBODY'S job. EVERYBODY thought ANYBODY could do it, but NOBODY realized that EVERYBODY wouldn't do it. It ended up that EVERYBODY blamed SOMEBODY when NOBODY did what ANYBODY could have done. If EVERYBODY waits for SOMEBODY to witness to the lost, then NOBODY will know about the Savior who can save ANYBODY. Did SOMEBODY witness today?

Busy , busy , busy..... and then what????

Everyone of us understand what it means to be busy , engaging with activities packed into limited time

I wonder,

what's keeping us busy?
what will our labour lead to?
is it fruitful labour?
Why are we busy?
What am I sowing in my life, what will I reap with my busyness?


We are surrounded by many choices of activities to keep us busy.. as we are busy with our activities , time continues to slip by..... I took some time to pause to ask myself all the above questions and also meditate on the verse below...


" Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labour in vain,
Unless the lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat -
for he grants sleep to those He loves " Ps 121: 1-2 ............................................to be continued

Hide and seek......

"Gracia, where's mummy? " , "Can you find mummy? "....... It's our game of hide and seek where I'll hide myself then call out to her to find me. Sometimes I just disappear and wait for her to discover I'm missing ....But I always hide in such a way to allow her to find me...

I just LURRRRVE seeing the delight on her face when she finally found me , and it touches me to see the efforts she puts in to seek and find me..... Of course, I will allow myself to be found by her!

This just reminds me of my own journey with my heavenly father... there are times when it seems that He is far away or even " missing" in my life. But the truth is , He has always been near me , and perhaps my lord allowed such times and is waiting for me to SEEK and FIND Him....

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you " Jer 29:13-14.

Gracia has a little lamb

Gracia loves her little lamb ,little lamb, little lamb,

Gracia loves her little lamb , its fleece was white as snow!

Counting the cost.. and yet .....

My collegue just called me and asked me if I was free tonight as she wanted to deliver some cakes over. I asked her what's the occasion and she shared with me that this was a collective treat from all my collegues who got promoted including her .

"Really!!!! Congratulations !!! " I replied .

She then asked me how I was getting on and what I was doing.. " ohhh, I'm treasuring all the remaining time I have with Gracia before I go back to work in June. Am out with her for a walk to find her favourite bird friends and do some grocery shopping"

After I hung up with her, i felt a tinge of sadness... Why did I feel this way? Thank God for the walk, I enjoy strolling (esp with my hubby and baby Gracia) coz it has a therapeutic effect on me and it's usually during my strolls that I can sort out my inner thoughts.

I guess I felt a sense of "loss" . I've given up a year of my career to care for baby Gracia and I felt that I have lost the opportunity to be promoted along with my peers and perhaps I 'm lagging behind now.

But hey, wasn't that the cost that I had prepared myself for a year back when I decided to take no-pay leave to care for baby Gracia? Haven't I counted the cost and decided that I was still going ahead to answer my call to motherhood and dedicate quality time to nurture Gracia at least for the 1st year of her life?

So has it been worthwhile? I would say ........................ YES!!!!!!

During this period of fulfillling my call to motherhood, I have also GAINED much becauseI had the opportunity and dedicated time to BUILD my FAMILY.

Just a few days back, I wrote down what is my purpose in life and this is what I wrote :

To multiply and be fruitful in the Lord's Kingdom -->

To build strong Godly families ( both physical and spiritual family-find & build my 12 )

Just as it is written in Genesis where God shared what was on his heart when He created man...

"Be fruitful and increase in number..." Gen 1: 28

With that , I look back and realise that I have so many thanksgivings... Here are some of them..


1. I have been there every moment for baby Gracia everytime she needs her mummy to breastfeed her, console her when she's lonely or afraid, play with her ever since she was a helpless baby to a now more independent baby.

2. I have experienced the excitement of seeing her many "1st times :.. like, her first smile, her first wave, her 1st tooth, 1st crawl etc. And the famous saying goes ," you can never turn back time, she's only a baby ONCE" and I was able to enjoy those times!

3. Extended time with my own family as I return home to my mum's place twice a week ( stayed whole day at my mum's place)so she can to co-babysit Gracia. Enjoyed catching up with my mummy and daddy esp since i stayed out after i got married ( have many fond memories when us go shopping together with baby). Many things in my family needed breakthrough , was able to be available as pillar of support to my family thru the difficult times...

4. Am closer to my mother in law whom I'm staying with. This extended period of time at home had fair doses of delightful and frustrating times (coz of different culture and values). But I've grown to understand her more and appreciate her for how much she dotes on us and how hard she works to keep the family together .



5. Had opportunity to catch up more with my spiritual FAMILY thru lunches, teas, and MSN!!! ( tho I still wanna meet up more often) ( will put up more pictures)

The above are only SOME of the thanksgivings .. and hmmmm.. I really think that I have GAINED much more that I thought I lost! =)

I conclude - my work/career is only a means to achieve my greater purpose in life... it is not an end in itself. I dun live just to have a successful career!

Yipee.. I experienced a miracle on Easter Sunday

I went to Sunday service with a bloated tummy , think it was gastric pain. The pain also caused my back muscles to ache. Tummy was uncomfortable through out service. (Johnson can testify to that)

When my pastor,Ps Khong gave the invitation for pple to come forward for healing, Johnson (my hubby) and I were preparing to go out to minister but realised there was no one to take care of the sleeping beauty-baby Gracia as all the girls at my row wanted to go out to be prayed for. Thus I had to stay behind .

I must confess that it did not dawn upon me that I NEEDED ministry of healing until Ps asked those who had pain to put their hands to where the pain was. I stood up and did as instructed and prayed . After that , nothing much happened. But bcoz of my discomfort , I wanted to sit down.

the miracle ......

Just as I was sitting down, a "gush " of air came out of my mouth. It was a funny feeling because in the past when I had such discomfort I had to try to "burp" the air out in spurts but seldom succeeded. I felt better tho some discomfort still lingered. Ps Khong then asked those who felt a touch of healing to raise their hands. I responded even though I felt only 50% better. ( I must confess that at that point I was unsure if GOd would totally heal me )

I stood up again to continue to see what's happening in front, but then after a while , decided to sit down again. Just as I was sitting down , another "gush " of air came out of my mouth again. But before I was able to reflect upon what just happened, one of my girls came back from the front and needed further ministry. ( Some deliverance took place and God's presense was very strong where we sat).

While ministering to her , I totally forgot about what had happened to me earlier.It was only after all the commotion when I exited the main hall that I realised that the tummy felt COMPLETELY ALRIGHT and the pain had TOTALLY LEFT!

Thank God for his grace, despite me being without COMPLETE faith to believe that He would heal me . I kept thinking that someone else was going to be healed but not me. Yes, I experienced a miracle from Jesus on Sunday. Thank you Lord!

Babe in shades

hey, recognise me? My cool great-grandma is watching me fondly from behind! waa haa haa

and i'm having fun with my aunt priscilla too......

Birthday Celebrations with our best friends...

Thank you AUbrey and Mary for such a sumptuous meal at a fine Jap restaurant -TATSU Sushi .



Create Your Own

It's my birthday and I'm crossing a new milestone.....

Yes, I am entering into another milestone... 30!

I am thankful that I am still loving and serving the lord today. As I reflect on my christian walk, there would have been many things that the evil one could have robbed me of my joy and freedom in walking with the lord. Thank God for his grace that I am still walking strong with the lord even tho there are still many struggles that I am facing = )

THe night before my birthday, I was led to read a beautiful Psalms - Psalms 139

"O Lord, you searched me and you know me
You know me when I sit and when I rise
you perceive my thoughts from afar
you discern my going out and my lying down
you are familiar with all my ways.
For you created me in my inmost being
you knit me together in my mother's womb
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made
your works are wonderful
I know that full well
My frame was not hidden from you
when iI was made in the secret plac.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw unformed body...

Search me , O God and know my heart;
test me and know my anxiuos thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting
. "Excerpts from Psalms 139

I must admit that this week has been really tough, seems like an emotional roller coaster ride as I face quite intense challenges in my family- both physical and spiritual family. It's funny how come tough issues seem to occur all at the same time. Yes, life is tough but knowing that I am walking with the Lord's delight makes it more endurable.

The verse above brought so much comfort coz the Lord is reminding me that He KNOWS me INSIDE OUT and understands every THOUGHTS and FEARS in whatever I am going through।
I AM HIS MASTERPIECE, I thank God for myself! =)

Looking back on my 14 years as a christian, one of the toughest but most precious lessons that I 've learnt and am still learning is to SURRENDER to and TOTALLY TRUST the Lord. In my journey of surrendering , I must say that today, I am increasling humbled as I realised how awesome the lord is , and how much I need Him. I am living a more blessed and purposeful life than before as the Lord reveals the mysteries of his truth and ways.

Lord, it is my desire that you search me and surface things in me that you want to "polish away" . Lead me in your way so that I will journey with you all the way till the end .

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Love is patient

wow, another year has passed since my first blog entry with my reflections on valentine's day ।

This time , my tots for valentine's day came when I was sitting on my great white throne ...ahhh.....

LOVE is PATIENT ...

My dear hubby was apologising to me that this year he was thinking hard of what to get me for Vday but dunno what to get. But deep in my heart , I felt he has given me the best gift of love that beats those beautiful bouquets of roses ( yes, I still love receiving flowers ), his ENDURING PATIENCE to me.

In my times of stress and immense frustrations ( esp on days when Gracia demands more attention than my fatigued soul can give), I've said things which i knew were uncalled for ( sometimes regretted). But my chubby hubby instead of judging or reprimanding me, chose to find how he can help to alleviate my frustrations first before attempting to "counsel" me..=) He really showed me love thru his patience and grace to me =)

Thank you Lord for a wonderful hubby that I can enjoy "valentine's day " every day .=) Lord, help me to demonstrate my love to my loved ones around me by giving them the gift of patience and grace.

=================================================================

my spiritual family

Lord, thank you for a wonderful spiritual family....



Behind all the smiles is the journey of COMMITMENT that we have chosen to walk thru with each other through the different seasons of our lives in past years .



my G12 family during our cny dinner: