Mothercare

Just today, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotions when I was not able to go for a gathering at Belle's place for a family potluck time.

It dawned upon me that I was lonely and longed for fellowship with my girlfriends and sisters . For an extended time, I was so caught up with meeting Gracia's needs-esp having to wake up almost every other hour in the night to feed her ( she's probably teething also , thus the discomfort interrupts her sleep, and mine).

I guess I've neglected my own needs. These feelings are also probably intensified as the struggles of not returning back to work re-surfaced again ( have taken another six months no pay leave). Please dun misunderstand, I thoroughly enjoy taking care of baby Gracia ( she's so cute) but the other side of me also yearns to be in a community of adults again , to have the freedom to go out have lunch to eat at my fav stalls at Ah Moy, to enjoy the silly jokes with my collegues......

Picked up a book "The Mother Load- how to meet your own needs while caring for your family" that I borrowed from the library but left on my shelf for a looooooog time. I realised I have to finish it by today coz today is the DEADLINE!

It was a wonderful time of rest... coz it seems that I hadn't had time for myself for the longest time... just the extended time for myself (reading ) brought so much refreshment.

Also, while I am sharing on this blog, one of my dear sisters Stella offered to drop by my place (before heading for Belle's place) to visit me and also help me. SO, I can go to Belle house afterall !!!! Thank you Lord, you know my innermost thoughts and struggles and you send help so timely.

I thank God for reminding me that I need also to take care of myself , to wait upon the lord and receive so that I can continue giving. I thank God for the the space he created for me this afternoon with my baby sound asleep. I thank God for the "angel" He sent in the form of my dear sister , Stella to help me so that I can go to Belle's house tonight afterall =)

It's a wonderful reminder today that I need to take care of myself emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually so that I can take good care of my daughter in all tis same aspects . Gracia needs a happy mother to raise a happer Her =)

Thank you Lord for reminding me the need for SABBATH.. to find rest and find myself in the midst of all the "CHOAS"

Christmas isn't Christmas till..

Christmas isn't Christmas

till it happens in your heart

somewhere deep inside you

is where Christmas really starts

so give your heart to Jesus

You'll discover when you do

that's when Christmas really Christmas

For you....

spiritual mothering

Something that I read from the net on spiritual mothering:


Written by Beth Moore
God created every life to be fruitful and multiply, but this God-given dream represents more than physical offspring. I believe our dreams to have babies represent a desire to have fruitful lives, to invest ourselves in something that matters and makes a difference.

In the Old Testament, God promised great numbers of physical descendants. In the New Testament, His emphasis is clearly on spiritual offspring. God calls us to be fruitful and to multiply until He calls us home. Potential for spiritual offspring is virtually limitless. God desires to empower you to bear spiritual offspring. God created you to bear much fruit. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a mommy more than anything in the world. Now my children are almost grown. Recently my older daughter and I were enjoying a time of rich fellowship together when she paused and asked, “Mom, when Melissa and I grow up and perhaps even move far away from you and Daddy, will you be OK?”
A lump welled in my throat, but I still answered confidently: “Yes, darling. Most people just need to feel useful. As long as I have Jesus, I will always feel useful — even if I occasionally feel lonely.”
I have tried my hardest to keep my children from growing up, but all my efforts have failed. Sometimes I think: “What will I ever do? I was born to be a mommy!” Then I remember God has called me primarily to women’s ministry, and I will always have the opportunity to “mother” a few spiritual offspring as long as I am willing to invest myself.
In fact, one of my spiritual daughters has a particularly dry and delightful wit. She is a gifted Bible teacher at only 27 years of age and hardly ever misses an opportunity to affectionately rib me about my age. I introduced her once as a spiritual daughter, and later she said, “Since you led the person to the Lord, who in turn, led me to the Lord, wouldn’t that really make you my spiritual grand-mother?” After that I called her a smart aleck, we had a great laugh, and every card or gift that I have sent to her since that remark have all been signed, “Love, Granny.”

If God chose for you to have physical children, prepare yourself! They will grow up! Then it is time to enlarge your tent and invest in spiritual children! If God chooses for you never to have physical children, He is calling you to a bigger family! God purposely placed the dream of fruitful lives in our hearts. Oh, how I love the paradoxical ways our glorious heavenly Father works. Only He can bring gain from loss. Only He can make us more fruitful in our barrenness!


One final thought. Undoubtedly one of the reasons I wanted children was to bear offspring who were the image of my husband. I wanted little Keiths and Keithettes! I did not want them to look like me. I have always thought Keith was far more beautiful than I. You see, the same is true of our spiritual offspring. Once we fall in love with Christ, we are so taken with His beauty, we want children to look just like Him. That is spiritual parenting in a nutshell; raising spiritual sons and daughters to look just like their Father in Heaven. What could be more important? "

Mother matters......

The earlier days of motherhood were anything but easy .

I was driven to a point of helplessness being being TOTALLY UNPREPARED (especially emotionally) for what to expect of Gracia the minute she came home from the hospital .

I still recall ...

* my breast-feeding blues* - * chronic sleep deprivation*-* lost of identity*-*loneliness*-*boredom from routine*-*denied food cravings*-*loss of self-esteem* and not forgetting *missing going service and cell to worship in the`lord's presense as a family*-*feeling very challenged to continue to serving the lord*.......

I was TOTALY HUMBLED when I came face to face with my helplessness but I survived ....
and one of the biggest thank yous is dedicated to.....

MY MOTHERS






see the 3 generations in this picture??



hmm, though they stressed me initially by keeping me away from the shower ( in the end I insisted that I HAD to wash my hair after 1.5 weeks coz I tot I saw flies around my head!) but they were the very ones who were there to say " oh it's ok.. like that one... dun worry.. will get better one..."

My mummy amazed me by her patience in modelling for me how to soothe baby Gracia when she cries and how she lovingly and firmly makes Gracia drink her milk from the bottle. ( Ya, Gracia , being a breastfed baby, really puts up a big fight agst the milk bottle)

When I'm just struggling with only one baby, I really appreciate how amazing my mother in law is to have raised 6 children and now going strong taking care of 2 grandsons at home. She always ensure I eat a good meal first before she prepares her meal and nudges me to catch up on my sleep while she tends to Gracia . She just gives and gives!

Also, not forgetting my spiritual mother, Ps Yueh Ping , a woman of faith.

She modelled for me that it is possible to continue to successfully mother spiritual children ( I mean 12 strong ladies!!!) even with the demands from her physical children (2 beautiful girls), SUPERNATURALLY! I'm inspired to believe that I will still be able to mother and find my 12 spirtual daughters !

Thank God for my wonderful and Inspirational MOTHERS!

like father , like daughter

can you look at this and not giggle?????

celebrate the uniqueness of every child

"why she cry so much before she sleeps not like xxx's baby who sleeps so easily " , " why she ....? ,

These were some of the many comparisons I used to make about Gracia with the other babies whom I met and read about . Often I was left frustrated and dissatisfied and sometimes even felt like a failure as a mother becoz of my unmet expectations of how Gracia should behave.

I forgot that the Lord created Gracia as a unique individual with a personality of her own. Instead I was trying to "force" her into my mental mould of an ideal baby rather than celebrating her uniqueness.

Gracia is a very sociable baby and company makes her very happy. Her smile always melts my heart =)

Yes, mothering has become so much more enjoyable when I learn to celebrate the uniqueness of all my children, that includes my beautiful spiritual daughters too.

To my spiritual daughters , each of you are so different and unique. You are very special in your own ways and I thank God for each for you. I pray for the lord 's grace to grant me the wisdom and love to nurture you all to become beautiful mothers in your own ways as you mother multitutes in your days ahead.

A verse for Gracia

" I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus. For in him you have been enriched in every way- in all your speaking and in all your knowledge- because our testimony in Christ was confirmed in you. Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end , so that you will be blameless on the day of our lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord , is faithful. " 1 Corinthians 1:4-9

A new life.... a changed life....

Yes, by God's grace I've been blessed with a new life in my family - a beautiful daughter - Baby Gracia

After a long absense from my blog, will be starting afresh to share on my journey in growing as a mother so as to constantly remind myself of God's goodness and grace that has brought me thus far.


It's been almost 6 months and in many ways, I have changed and life been much richer eversince...