The beauty of Waiting

" Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether of not you would keep his commands........ know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you..." Deuteronomy 8:2-5




What does being in a desert for forty years look like today?

• Waiting for the longest time for God to fulfil the desire in my heart
• season of going though all the mandane chores at home and keeping the kids to their daily routine
• praying for many years for a miracle at home
  
• feeling discouraged because there seems to be no spiritual fruits after all these years of serving

To be in a desert for sucha looong period of forty years is not only a hard but a Heart test . THe prolonged period of WAITING can bring so much discomfort, discouragment and disappointment without seeing it from the perspective of a Loving God who is STILL in control .

This period is a one of deep soul searching but I'm growing to be thankful for it coz God has been surfacing and showing me the little imperfections of my heart . I realised that the impatience and frustrations that I felt were because the many things I had wanted to trust God for was , over time, becoming tainted with my own personal agenda with my own expectations on how I want certain things to turn out.

AM I willing to once again surrender to God for the things that I am claiming by faith to be fulfilled IN HIS TIMING , IN HIS WAY instead of mine?

Am I still willing to TRUST Him ?


Interestingly, I recall an incident where Gracia asked me to buy a golf set for her . Within me, I wanted to get it for her to make her happy , it wasn't expensive nor harmful so why not. But I decided to hold back.

I didn't want to let her have the habit of asking for toys and things and expecting to get it at her whims and fancy. Somehow I know, over time, that will take away her true enjoyment of the things given to her ( delayed gratification).

I wanted her to truly be able to enjoy the things she have , to learn to wait and to TRUST me that I wanted the best for her and desire to give her things that will truly satisfy and bless her .

So I tried as lovingly as I can and said,

"No, Gracia. Not now and not this. Mummy will check with daddy and we'll decide later"


She flared into a tantrum. Was tempting to relent to avoid the discomfort of tussling with her but I still held back. I knew even if I explained , she wouldn't understand.


To make up for the vacuum within her to find something to satisfy her, I spent extended time outside for a walk and playing with her. She soon forgot about the golf toy and still returned home very happy coz she had a wonderful time with mummy. She didn't get the toy in the end but she had more of me =) I know our relationship deepened and more than that I wanted for her to TRUST me more .

Such a parallel with my relationship with God.


Many times I get frustrated and disappointed when my wait for God to answer seemed too long for me . But while the wait has been really tough, I'm beginning to understand that God wanted to correct my inner heart attitutes and refine me deep within . Furthermore, He wanted to deepen my relationship with Him and for me to TRUST Him more. That I look to Him not just for the things What He can give me but look to Him as one who loves me.

Lord, forgive me for the times I been so tempted to try to solve the issues at hand in my own way rather than wait and trust you during the prolonged waiting for your answer. I know that your thoughts are higher than my thoughts and your ways higher than mine. I may not understand how and when you will fulfill the things that I have been praying for but I know you will fulfill it in your timing , in your way . I know you love me .I will TRUST you during this waiting period in the desert. =)